Life as a Dancer: what I learned about "Following" in 2024 (a personal reflection)

In 2023, "Brilliance" was my word of the year, and I explored what it meant (see my Facebook post).

Inspired by dancing, I chose "Following" as my word last year, 2024.

I wanted to know, what does Following mean, in dance and in life?

Most of my life is spent "leading:" planning and executing, as a parent, supervisor, business and home owner. It's constant and exhausting.

Dancing became the place I could show up without a plan. I wanted to be lead.

Trusting someone to lead me was scarier than I realized (see my Instagram reel)

I am still a recovering back-lead.

I tried to be a better follower:

I slowed down, tried to be more present to the subtle cues, trusted my lead to keep me safe...and I let go.

I think I improved as a follower in my dancing in 2024.

Most of the time, my lead was safe.

And in one friendship, I wasn't safe, but I didn't know.

I prioritized their feelings, but abandoned my own needs in the process.

I surrendered, but they didn’t have my back.

When I finally put myself first, they chose to try to hurt me instead.

I learned my lesson: love myself as fiercely as others, and no less (see my Instagram Highlights).

I deserve as much compassion and validation as everyone else.

I can surrender and follow…when it’s safe.

I can say “no” to a dance when I want (see my blog). I don’t have to always follow.

I surrendered back to the universe, and received so much love in return (see my Instagram post).

I vulnerably shared my pain with safe others this time, and was held with care.

I let go and others caught me gently.

New and deeper friendships emerged as a result.

I found my voice again, and a new community with it.

I continually surrender to my fears, sometimes managing well on my own, and sometimes still asking for help.

Thank you, so many of you, for being my safe place, over and over, through 2024.

This is the dance of life, to lead and to follow.

As I know better, I do better.

Finding that balance between taking the lead and following is difficult.

As a follower, I will control what I can, to be prepared for how the universe leads me.

You are here, I am here, and we both hear the music together.

I feel loved.

I feel safe.

I'm afraid to keep surrendering sometimes. It is risky.

I will keep following in this dance of life with the universe.

The dance won't be perfect, but at least I'm dancing with you.

And that's the most important thing.

(This Instagram reel makes me smile and embodies TOGETHER as the most important thing in a partner dance, @juannadance and @audrey_out_west)